hold me

hold me so i won't fall.
hold my hands. my wrists.
to prevent me from grabbing someones neck trying to steal their breath their thoughts their souls.
hold my face so it won't spell anger frustration fear.
self-inflicted sadness.
shut my mouth so i won't scream bite spit - so i won't say all the acid words resting on my tongue.
those words that rips wounds open.
instead of repairing them.
hold me so i won't get cold, so i won't shiver.
hold me until the sun has returned.
hold me close to you so i won't try to run and hide.
there's nowhere for me to go---

hold me until i'm sure you'll never let go.
until everything i feel is real.
until all my made-up reasons to cry have starved to death.
hold me.
until i can be alone - without dragging threads of thoughts from my temples making
perfectlittleknots.
hold me until..
the full moon and the world made of silver and the white veils and the smell of lavender and the swan feathers and the fragile glass bubbles---
if you can.